Sometimes...when we wander through life on our journey of discovery...
We forget the simple things...
Like sticking out your tongue to catch a snowflake...
Or holding out your hand to catch a raindrop...
The pleasure of feeling the sun on our faces...as we close our eyes and turn our face to the bright heat.
We seem to wander around searching...trying to find answers to things that, sometimes, there is no answer for.
I was going to post about the journey into faeryland...that glimpse through the veil that some of us are lucky enough to find.
I wanted to take you with me, down this secret path into their home...
But I can't...
For anyone feeling low or upset at the moment...please take my gift from the Fae and read no further...this is not such a happy post...
For anyone else who becomes deeply saddened by death then please don't read on...it is not my intent to upset you.
But this needs to be said.
A while ago I wrote a post about "The Not So Merry Widow"...in it I spoke of a cousin of ours who became mentally ill because of the abuse from his Grandfather.
Whilst I was painting this picture, I found out that this poor man has hung himself.
And that his younger brother has attempted suicide three times.
I have no proof that any of this is due to the way these men were treated as young boys...but I know in my heart that it must have played a part.
If this Grandparent treated me in such a way, in just the brief visits to his house...then what must he have done to two young boys who were left in his care all day while the parents worked?
I know that he would follow them to the outside toilet...every time...I know that the eldest boy was deeply troubled...I know that his Grandfather abused him.
I also know that this Grandfather was never brought to account for his actions.
So instead of my faery painting being a beautiful visit to the Fae...it became a sad look back for me...
I am sad for what has happened and I am angry for the wrongs that were never punished.
I am sad that...even now...this Grandfather haunts my life.
I am sad that I have brought him into your lives...you do not deserve that.
But most of all I am sad for these poor young men who had no one to turn to.
My mother's brother died of cancer some years ago...he had three children...his eldest daughter who adored him with the most outstanding love, had a break down...she has not yet recovered.
His only son was so grief stricken, that one fine day...he lay down on a railway track and was decapitated.
He was just eighteen years old.
He also felt he had no one to turn to...just before he killed himself he said that, " he wanted to be rocked in his father's arms once more"...
I hope that he is...
So...for these poor young men...
I dedicate my Faery...
I began her as a gentle reminder to always look down into the grass...
To keep an eye out for the small things beneath our feet...
To tread softly...
Now...she is guiding the forgotten children to a better place...
To the warmth of the sun...and a gentle people...
To a place of dreams...and not nightmares...
Where all children are safe...
